A Tiny Start

A little Snowdrop – the first flower to bloom after the New Year. This is the flower we will be planting for Michael, our oldest, whose Birthday is in January.

For years, I’ve wanted consistency in my writing. I’ve wanted to have something grand to show for all the walls of journals I’ve written. When I was a young, single artist – lonely, bemoaning my station in life;  I spent the majority of my time wishing for a mate, writing long passages about my loneliness and how much I had to give. It used to be so much easier to write every day back before I became part of this joyous family. And there’s the rub. When I was alone, I spent all my time wishing for a family. I did not cherish my time then. Now I have a family, and I don’t want to make the same mistake of not cherishing my time now. How daft would that be, to wish for free time, when what I have is all this?

Now I have love that fills my days to the point that I rarely have a moment’s quiet. I spent my whole life until I was 36 wishing for more, and now I have more and there are days I begin to wish for just a trifle less.

Truly in this moment, I want to tell myself there will be plenty of alone moments at some point.

In the meantime, I will live it up with these crazy, wild children who have non-stop energy, endless questions and running hugs that know me over. Yes – there is simply not a thing about which to whimper.

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2 thoughts on “A Tiny Start

  1. I love early flowers. I love to look out at my yard and see the early crocus popping up and reminding me that in spite of all the bare trees and dead/dormant grass … Spring is a work in process.Years ago I read the book First Things First by Stephen Covey, and I learned so much about myself. I just pulled it from the shelf a week ago to refresh and revise a mission statement that blends my values and dreams into a productive life. I sort of was lost in a pile of living without a clear idea of what I hoped to accomplish. I was in the vicinity of where I wanted to go, but it seemed my gps was always reminding me that I’d “missed a turn”. “One is not born a woman, but becomes one.”Simone de Beauvoir

  2. Oh, Amy! I love this! It is so true that we can get busy working on all the various parts of our life without ever spending the time to make sure those parts are creating the Whole we are intending. Living Intentionally is probably one of the most beautiful purposes we can endeavor. I’m happy you are finding a balance. I am carving out my little place in the world as well, and lucky to meet people like you along the way. Cheers!

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